by Administrator
6. February 2012 12:46
Though young children may not understand divorce, they are certainly aware of the significant changes to their family structure. Even lacking comprehension, young children are affected in tremendous ways when they witness upset parents, unstable environments, and shifting living conditions (if a parent moves out).
Infants may experience changes in their eating, sleeping, and digestive habits while their behavior may become more fretful, fearful, and anxious. Toddlers may express heightened emotions and be more likely to cry, cling to parents, and display anger or frustration. Their sleeping and toilet habits will change and they may express more baby-like behavior. Preschoolers may feel loss/sorrow, fear abandonment, feel rejection, blame themselves, have physical symptoms (tummy aches) and can become angry and attack the parent they blame. They might even turn their anger inward and become depressed or withdrawn.
What can parents do:
- With infants: Keep a normal routine, remain calm in front of the baby, rest while baby sleeps, ask family or friends for help, & both parents need contact.
- With Toddlers: Parents can nurture, reassure, continue routines, allow some “baby like” behavior but set clear limits/consequences, keep daily stress to minimum, provide alone time with child, spend time with same sex family member as the parent who does not live at home.
- With Preschoolers: Encourage questions & concerns about separation/divorce, encourage expression of feelings by talking, physical play & art work (including anger), reassure them both parents understand and love her/her, tell repeatedly if needed he/she is not responsible for the divorce.
- Overall suggestions: Keep consistent routines, set reasonable limits & enforce consistently & lovingly, provide reassurance surrounding transitions, reassure both parents love them & will always be their parent, have open communication with other parent & with caregivers, and take care of self.
For more information, check out the February 2012 issue of Congregations & Early Childhood, a monthly newsletter from the Early Childhood Faith Initiative.
The Faith Initiative is a collaborative initiative between Durham’s Partnership for Children and End Poverty Durham that recognizes the role that the faith community plays in providing support to families and children. Click here to read more about this initiative.